We have been reading about the holy instant, special relationships, and holy relationships in the past few CMC Ministerial classes. I have been searching for the meaning of romantic relationships and these last few chapters have been very intriguing. This is what I have put together from recent studies.

The special relationship seems to be any relationship outside of the awareness of God's truth. It is a relationship based on fear and breeds offspring such as guilt and expectations.

In a holy relationship, both remember their divine purpose and are in complete understanding of each other. However, we have a tendency to lean toward special relationships because we feel incomplete and assume that something in another person is what is missing in us. Taking something from somebody else to make ourselves complete is the foundation of the special relationship. When this approach is taken, failure is always experienced. When failures occur, attack ensues.

How do we get out of this cycle? We use the holy instant to bring the relationship back to truth and awareness of God. If we are aware of God's presence in anything, conflict disappears because, in that instant, we forgive what never happened. When we bring God's light to any situation, the conflict completely loses any meaning that we gave it. In that moment, we experience a holy relationship. As it is our calling to be aware of the divine in every moment, it is also our calling to maintain this awareness in every relationship. The same principles that Jesus teaches us to use in our individual practice, He is teaching us to use in relationships. When we remain in the moment with God, we experience peace. When two remain in the moment with God, they experience peace in the holy relationship. The holy instant is now and it is the same now that all of the great spiritual teachers of all the ages have told us to remain in, in order to experience our divinity.

The special relationship can be distracting. It delights the senses and makes us feel alive. This feeling of being alive can easily be confused with experiencing God. As with any sense-delight, its efficacy wears off over time. When the illusions lose their luster, we are left with the choice to seek out more specialness or seek true happiness. This is where many relationships hit cross-roads and where distraction turns to attention. This is the part where we realize we will have to start giving and not taking. This is where we can instill God’s purpose or start over on another special path.

All in all, relationships are powerful in that they can be highly karmic and distracting but on the other hand, highly beneficial to our evolution if based on God’s purpose. It is our choice. Jesus spends much time in the text on this topic. I think that it is an important point because we invest so much into relationships, yet rarely question their purpose and meaning. I, personally, can no longer afford so much time for something that does not have a higher, soul-evolving purpose. I spent many years lost in somebody else, only to realize that I was only looking for myself. I now know that it must be God in me who seeks God in another. I am not delusional though. I realize that specialness will be unavoidable at times. But if I find somebody whose sights are set on me and the holy instant, I would be happy to partake.

~Daniel