I look back at my journey with A Course in Miracles, and I realize just how far I have come. A little bit of willingness has brought me a long way. My life has taken many twists, many turns. And today I watch as it levels out - balances out. Just what I had hoped for, more peace, more balance.
However, it has little meaning today. Though I appreciate the balance and newfound peace; this change, this shift, has little meaning. That is how my life has changed. Much of the meaning I have given to this world has fallen away. I still get a shake up at times, to remind me to keep forgiving and keep moving toward Home. But each shake up is always received in appreciation today. I realize it is a good thing—an opportunity to continue undoing the false self. In light of my newfound peace and balance, I give full testament to Holy Spirit - my Spiritual Self within.
I look back at all the twists and turns that brought me to where I am today and I see Holy Spirit there every step of the way, beckoning me, calling me, and encouraging me. Sometimes the Voice flows directly from within, and sometimes seemingly through a brother. Holy Spirit has never left me stranded. But then I made the choice at some point to no longer leave the Holy Spirit stranded also. A mutual agreement. One that had to be met. It was God-written. Holy Spirit met His part of the agreement when God summoned His role in the atonement. He had been calling to my frightened lost soul ever since.
My part in the agreement was met a number of years back. I heard the calling and I listened. For the first time I really listened. I stopped in my tracks, and began to talk to this Voice that finally got my attention. It was like a celebration within when I came to realize there was a connection to an Inner Self, aka Holy Spirit, that I had been ignoring all this lifetime. A part that delivered God-knowledge 24/7. What a trip. Here I was thinking I had it all figured out. And along came my relationship with Holy Spirit, and then, in time, I came to realize that I truly knew nothing! The “me” that I knew for this lifetime suddenly became transparent. I could see right through this ghost-like self. I could see right through the mistaken beliefs. I could see the innocent self. The fraudulent self. Busted! As I looked closer though, I realized how sweet was I, the false I, the one that was so mistaken. A mere belief in its own illusional existence. An innocent mistake; one that seemingly happened.
Now with the truth upon me, I see the split-off self the Course talks about. The split-off self is nothing more than an “imagined” self. A self that I believed myself to be, for a majority of this lifetime. It’s ok though. I was merely mistaken. Nothing more than that. Now, as time seemingly slips away, there is much “belief” to hand over. Many, many ideas, meanings, labels and tags to hand over. A reinterpretation from Holy Spirit has been provided. It is here. And the reinterpretation is that all these zillions of different meanings that the ‘false I’ have offered to everything around me, all the objects, all of the forms that seem to exist around me, are literally false. All of it. There is no duality. There is no split off. There is no separation. There are no walls. There is only Oneness. Openness. My walls are down. They only existed in my imagination. My limitedness only existed in my imagination.
The day Holy Spirit was able to reveal that to me; that this is all in my mind, all in my imagination, was a moment when I gasped. And then I smiled. And then I laughed. There is no darkness. There is no ego. There is no world. I was April-fooled. And who did this? No-one. There is no-one out there to do anything to me. It was a tiny mad idea I bought into, and didn’t buy out of until I finally began to listen to the Voice for God. I April-fooled myself! How hilarious. How cool. How innocent. How funny is that!
Thank God for our brother’s who take this journey with us. The ones we claim are separate from our self. They are beckoning us to awaken. Every word, every motion is a call to remember. The false-self sees certain words as attack. But the eyes of love see every word as a summons. There is nothing negative here. Only Godness. Yes, that is not a spelling error. Godness. Godness is everywhere. There is nothing outside of us that we look upon. We are always looking at God. God is everywhere. There is nowhere God is not. We need only look to every brother, every seeming separate idea and look instead for God. And the veil lifts. The limitations go puff! And they fall away. Godness is everywhere. When we are willing, God will say hi. It may be in a smile. A handshake. When we look for God, God is all we will see! This is what forgiveness means!